"I've finally met my match"

OK, I give up. I have finally met my match. I put up a good fight but I know when it is time to quit.
As I had mentioned in my last blog my cell phone cratered and had to be replaced.
Now I'm a gadget kind-of-guy. If a revolutionary electronic piece of equipment comes out, I am one of the first ones on my block to buy it. The last 4 or 5 computers Pattye and I have purchased over the last 10 years, I have built from scratch. I know about stuff.
But either things are changing a little too fast for me, or maybe I just don't want to fight the fight anymore.
I'm talkin' about using all of the features on my cell phone.
Heck, I don't even think it should be called a phone anymore. It should be called a communications appliance.
I realize it is hard to find a comfort zone, and, after going through a learning curve people like to settle in where life becomes enjoyable.
My old phone, may it rest in peace, and I were in a comfort zone. It worked great, well...fine.
Oh, it would drop a call every now and then. Occasionally I would have to play the "can you hear me now" game. But, it did what it was supposed to do. I called people and they called me.
But this new machine. ....Wow.
Trouble is, I don't know how to use it.
I got "tired-head" after only a few minutes of reading the 532 page instruction book.
It took me 15 minutes to find out how to turn the thing on!
It takes pictures, send pictures, does IM, (for those of you that aren't up-to-date is instant-messaging or what really is taking 10 minutes to type a message that you could have verbally told someone in five seconds). It has a ticker with a headline banner of breaking news across the screen, which by the way a screen that can have any kind of wallpaper that you want. It grooms the dog, it makes a souffle etc., etc., etc..
And I'm scared that it might be able to do the one thing, the only thing that Pattye still keeps me around for.......... it might be able to cut the grass.
But it really doesn't matter to me that it does all of these neat things. I just want it to make calls and get calls.
Yesterday, while I was checking to see if I had any calls, cause' I keep it stuffed in my jeans and normally have the radio blaring and can't hear it if it rings, (I can get over 10,000,000 different ring tones) I saw that I had missed 2 calls.
But I was stumped. How do I find out who called me?
As I was fiddlin with it, while sitting on the tail gate of my truck sweating in 100 degree weather, a non-English speaking housekeeper saw the confusion on my face.
She had a similar type phone and through hand gestures and my Spanglish we were able to find the correct menu to see who the last callers were that were trying to reach me.
She even showed me how to put the callers into my address book, that I'm not sure I could find again if I had to.
But it works. It does exactly what I want it to do. I can call people and they can call me.
Oh, by the way, I even have a unique ring tone. One that nobody else has. One that I could always discern if my phone rang while with a group of people.
I use the one that comes already with every new phone, and I am sure everyone but me has changed to something different.
So call me, but don't send pictures or IM's, because I wouldn't know how to find them.