"I am impotent....er....was"

It came on gradually. I started seeing signs a few days ago. Something was wrong but I just didn't want to face reality. I didn't want to tell Pattye, but obviously knew she would find out sooner or later.
And then yesterday it happened.
It seemed to just go limp in my closed fist.
Panic rushed in. I made a quick prayer. The kind where you ask God to just give you one more chance. Just once and you'll promise never to abuse it again.
And then suddenly it came back to life.
I could almost feel its strength begin to take shape and I silently screamed, "Yes!!".
And then nothing.
I was impotent.
No longer the person I was just only days ago.
I felt like I had no power.
No ability to perform the way I was supposed to perform.
I didn't feel complete. I felt in a sense like less than a man.
Had it been overuse? Had it been the result of neglect? Or did I just play with it too much.
Whatever the reason, here I was, alone, impotent and unable to use the one thing that I have come to reply on in times of need.
After I came to my senses I immediately decided to take action. I would not accept defeat. I began searching for an expert in this field.
It took about an hour to find a specialist.
He wanted to see what it looked like. I pulled it out and the look on his face told me what I feared most.
"This thing is really old and probably used up, but it looks like you got a lot of play out of it."
I sheepishly smiled and thought of the times where I had used it. Sometimes late at night by myself. Sometimes with others in a group. I even played with it in a movie theater when the lights had gone down low.
I had always heard "use it or lose it" but now I wasn't so sure.
We talked for awhile about my dilemma. He felt like he had an answer.
I called Pattye and told her I had a problem and explained that I would go into further detail as soon as I got home. She said to "do whatever was necessary, regardless of the cost, just be sure I had it "working" when I got home. Whatever we have to do to give you satisfaction, we'll do".... A true wife. A true friend. I knew I could count on her.
After what seemed like hours of waiting and discussions and instructions of how to properly take care of what has become very important to me, I left for home. A new man. Powerful once again.
I rushed in the door and pulled it out and showed it to Pattye.
I was no longer cut off from the world. I could perform all of the duties that she has come to expect from me.
I even brought one for her, even though she didn't expect it.
Yes, I had a new cell phone. I was back on top again.