Let me preface by saying that for the last couple of months I've really kinda been out of sorts. I've been frustrated and confused with knowing that my 70th birthday is soon approaching. To me it's just unfathomable. It just doesn't seem possible. I've had my heels dug in refusing to accept it. So, I spent some time trying to figure out how this could be happening. And guess what?.....IT'S NOT....I'm not turning 70, I'm actually turning 65!!!.
Now I am sure some of you naysayers out there are scratchin' your head-brains and thinkin' this is just another Tommyboy scheme. Just another of his ploys of stretchin' the truth...just another of his Skeeter tricks. Well, you're wrong. I'VE GOT PROOF.
And, it not only shows that I am only 64 but it explains a whole lot of other questions as well.
I decided to go through a treasure trove of old family pictures and memorabilia that my brother, Dave, and sister -in-law sent me a couple of months ago and wow, did I truly discover a real treasure.
Apparently my real birth certificate had somehow gotten stuck down inside the flap of this old cardboard box and simply by chance was I able to discover it.
I started looking it over, not paying much attention to it until I spotted the birth date. August 16, 1953...NOT...August 16, 1948. For all of these years I have been under the impression that I was older than I was and which now means I can put off my 70th until 5 more years down the road. People have told me, "You don't look like you will be 70"...Well, heck no...I'm only 64 fixin' to turn 65.
More importantly it explains how all my years growin' up I was constantly being told by the nuns at Our Lady of Mercy, "Tommy, act your age"......"Tommy, grow up" or being told by my brothers, "Tommy, quit acting like a baby"......when in fact, here I was like supposedly ten years old when I was only five. No wonder I got check marks for " unable to get along with others" or "does not accept supervision"...heck, I was 5 years younger than my peers.
Now I realize this is hard for all of you to comprehend because it certainly was for me when I found all of this out. But it could happen right?
Obviously there will be some repercussions because of all of this. I'm probably going to have to return some of my Social Security payments. I will have to get a new drivers license and the mountain of paperwork will be huge. But now I have time to do it. Five years of time.
And to all of my friends who I have whined to about turning 70......"Tough luck, suckers" I'm a new man!