First of all, apologies with a caveat are meaningless. In other words, if one says they are sorry and then they include the following word, "BUT", well then they are not truly sorry for their sin, they are simply trying to transfer their guilt and shame to you rather than keep it themselves.
So, with all of the honesty and sincerity and some humor, I hereby proclaim to my dearest and sweetest cousin, Janice, :
I'M AM SORRY I FELL ASLEEP WHILE YOU WERE TALKING TO ME...... Period
This whole trip has been a whirlwind filled with many emotions from seeing old familiar sites, hearing old familiar sounds, smelling old familiar scents and of course seeing dear friends and family. It left me exhausted, even to the point I could not convince myself that yesterday was Friday and I couldn't understand how I could have lost a day.
I'm seeing things for the first time with a new set of eyes and appreciation.
I'm not here for nostalgia. I'm not here to remember old times. I'm here for inspiration and growth and what better way to fill those needs than with friends and family who have been there and meant so much to you during difficult and troubling times.
After lunching with dear friends, Denny and Sue Wintersteen, I concluded the afternoon with a much needed visit with my very close cousin, Janice.
I have admired her for my entire life as a strong, hard working woman who carries the spirit of the "Kender Clan", records their history, though she is still looking for some of the lost pages that she placed in her special location so she could find them when needed, and keeps the tradition of cooking ethnic Hungarian foods to remind us of a past when meals and food were enjoyed by the entire family all seated at the table at the same time with no phones or tablets.
Janice, please forgive me. It wasn't you it was me!!... Love you.
Peace
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