"Tommyboy, the decisions you make will always be yours, all I do is provide you the opportunity"...God

As I prepare to bid goodbye  to my childhood home, Dayton, Ohio I again thank all of those who continue to help make my life the most blessed of all. And, of course my brother and his wife for graciously inviting me to stay with them but also indulging me and my peculiar oddities. If anyone would care to know what those oddities are, well, then you can invite me to spend a few days with you as well, especially those of you in Hawaii.

The days here gave me a chance to put things in perspective and isn't that what life is really all about...our perception of how things are around us.

For four consecutive days, I've continued to write and share my stories with you. This is something that has been missing from my life as I desperately struggled to regain the confidence to put down on paper my interpretations and open myself up for criticism, my worst enemy. But here I am and I hope I keep the feeling deep in my soul.

Something I began to do about two years ago was express my thoughts with my "Conversations with God". I developed the format while sitting at my favorite and favorites, South Padre Island. It's there where after a lifetime of silence, I heard His voice once again and we chatted and texted and in some instances brought some peace and even humor into other  people's lives.

So, I'll share a brief conversation we had early this morning..

GOD: So Tommy, hangin' out in Dayton, I see. Any news to report?

ME:  Hey Buddy. Well, it's just like you told me it would be.I got my head-brain all cleared out and I'm at peace. How do you know all of this stuff, anyway.

GOD: Dang it, Tommy. I built the place and you know that. You know I gave you the playground and all of the fixin's and opened the gate and said, have at it.

ME: I know, I was just funnin' with you. I have a question though. Why is it that you let people do what they want to do, even when they tear the place up. I mean it's YOUR house and all, I'd kick somebody's butt if they came into my house and threw stuff all around and didn't put the lid down on the toilet. Why do you let that happen?

GOD: Tommy, as I said many times before. All I do is give you a place to either have fun or raise h***. It has always been your decision. There's a few rules that have to be followed, ten exact, and if you choose to follow them, well, there will be even a greater and more wonderful place I'll invite you to visit. But, the choice will always be yours.

ME: By the way, on another subject. I wanted to thank you once again for findin' me that cool place to live now. You know, The Overture down in Texas. I'm havin' fun down there. You need to come visit some of the wonderful people I have met.

GOD: Tommy,  I have met all of them, and yes they are wonderful people. But what about those friends of yours who are deep in despair and haven't found the peace that you and your friends have found. What about the ones who haven't been able to make the choice of transitioning out of their now lonely homes and finding a group of friends like you have found.

ME: Wow, GOD, there you go again, opening my dang eyes up to help people in need. YOU really know how to run this Universe thing. YOU'RE right. I've got some friends that need my advice, or rather YOUR advice and I'm going to do something about it. So many people have good wonderful years left in their lives and I think with a little help from YOU and me, we might be able to make it happen. I'm tellin' you, GOD, you are one smart dude.

GOD: No Tommy, you're the smart dude for opening your heart up and be willing to have these conversations with ME. Okay, get your butt in gear. You have a plane to catch and some people to save. Glad you took the time to talk with ME again. Catch ya' later.

ME: Thanks GOD. And thanks again for always being there when I need you. Peace.

GOD: Okay, Tommy. Be safe and quit bein' so dang stubborn about refusin' to wear a mask. I haven't invested this much time and effort in you to have you doin' something stupid and joining me way before your time to get here. And quit forgettin' to zip up and tie your shoes, your Mom taught you better than that. By the way, she says, "Hi", and is real proud of how you're comin' along.

It was me, not you...

Confession and Public Apology Time:

First of all, apologies with a caveat are meaningless. In other words, if one says they are sorry and then they include the following word, "BUT", well then they are not truly sorry for their sin, they are simply trying to transfer their guilt and shame to you rather than keep it themselves.

So, with all of the honesty and sincerity and some humor,  I hereby proclaim to my dearest and sweetest cousin, Janice, :

I'M AM SORRY I FELL ASLEEP WHILE YOU WERE TALKING TO ME...... Period 

This whole trip has been a whirlwind filled with many emotions from seeing old familiar sites, hearing old familiar sounds, smelling old familiar scents and of course seeing dear friends and family. It left me exhausted, even to the point I could not convince myself that yesterday was Friday and I couldn't understand how I could have lost a day.

I'm seeing things for the first time with a new set of eyes and appreciation. 

I'm not here for nostalgia. I'm not here to remember old times. I'm here for inspiration and growth and what better way to fill those needs than with friends and family who have been there and meant so much to you during difficult and troubling times.

After lunching with dear friends, Denny and Sue Wintersteen, I concluded the afternoon with a much needed visit with my very close cousin, Janice.

I have admired her for my entire life as a strong, hard working woman who carries the spirit of the "Kender Clan", records their history, though she is still looking for some of the lost pages that she placed in her special location so she could find them when needed, and keeps the tradition of cooking ethnic Hungarian foods to remind us of a past when meals and food were enjoyed by the entire family all seated at the table at the same time with no phones or tablets.

Janice, please forgive me. It wasn't you it was me!!... Love you.

Peace

Stardate 98084.47 Georef Latitude:39.779334 N Longitude -84.032211 W

One of the many exciting occurrences that happens during my infrequent visits to my hometown of Dayton, Ohio is the stimulus I receive (not to be confused with the $$ stimulus those of us making < 90 K last year received this past March) from my oldest brother, David. After 25 years in the U. S. Air Force serving in so many capacities that included the ones where he uses the cliche' "if I told you what I did, I would have to eliminate you", to teaching in the Biomedical Engineering Dept of Wright State Univ., he is always challenging me to use my head-brain. And yes. he does accept head-brain as part of my vocabulary.

We were both up at 4:00 AM this morning, which if any one of you would have taken the time out to decipher the Stardate in the title to this blog, you would have known that.

Early morning has always been my zenith for creativity whether it be writing, tinkering, reading or just plain thinking. Apparently it is his trait as well, since he was busily completing the daily Suducko hours before the sun comes up

This morning our discussions included topics on Geo Referencing, Raspberry Pi code, flatulence (he does have a sense of humor) and ten or fifteen other items. While we talked my eyes searched his office/laboratory for any new gizmos or gadgets that he might have acquired since my last visit. I spotted a clock on the wall and realized that,"Yep, that is an item of intrigue"and inquired about it. He said it was a present from his daughter, my niece Kimberly, a genius in her own right.

As you can see it is not just a clock but it too is a mind simulator. I know in visiting with Kim over the years that she too was always challenged to think and use her head-brain as well.

The next few days will rush by and I'll return to my new "digs" back in Texas, which by the way is in Fairview, Tx. and any of you who knew me in my youth will be surprised at that full circle of  address connections as well. My head-brain will be stimulated to accomplish any challenge before me as I feel the desire to write, think and solve many of the mysteries of this complicated world.

So much to share, so much to do,  so much stimulation I have to get moving. It's going to be yet another day in Paradise.

Oh, one quick note before I leave you all for the day.

I made it a point to visit my parents grave site yesterday. It took me almost an hour to locate it even after receiving directions from the cemetery office. Apparently, I spelled or she misspelled my parents last name and was sent me off in the wrong direction. Fortunately a man operating a backhoe (don't ask) was able to help me out in finding the sacred ground.

I told Mom and Dad I was doing okay and it was good to be back in town. Mom told me to keep my feet planted on the ground and to never forget my roots. She smiled, I smiled and I felt the energy I had been searching for.

Peace

This is exactly what I needed...

There's is nothing more inspiring while trying to sort your life out than returning to your roots for a good shot of humility, comfort, perspective and self examination.

I'm here in Dayton, Ohio, the place of my birth and early education, for a few days to visit family and friends. David, my oldest brother and his wife, Ursula,  of over 50 years, play host to my visit and take the time to listen to my stories and challenge my intellect and can spot immediately when I stray off course with my embellishments of my life away from my initial hometown. David challenges me when I begin to stutter and create my "Walter Mitty persona" in order to impress him with my adventures and escapades. He knows me too well. 

I sensed the first peaceful emotion as we approached the Ohio landscape from a descending 20,000 feet while viewing the patchwork of small farms of grain, beans and of course the ever familiar corn as it begins to grow as "as high as an elephant's eye"...oops wait, that was Oklahoma, the second phase of my long adventure. But still, even while flying with a hideous mask covering my face due to the imposed regulations of a pandemic, I felt the warmth of familiar sites as we got closer and closer to the location of so many of my stories of the past decades.

Dayton, as I remember it, is a smorgasbord of ethnic, hard working people who trust in their country, trust in their families and trust in each other. It gave me the cornerstone, along with my parents, to make something of my life. Dayton was the place where I learned the value of hard work by throwing newspapers, cleaning a barber shop and learning how to run a drill press at my Dad's small machine shop even before I had made it to my early teens.

Dayton was the place where my friends Bobby, and Eddie and of course "The Jer" and several others would test our skills, challenge the rules, and enjoy the world as we knew it and take each day, one day at a time to add to our resume'of life.experiences.

I've returned many times before, but for some reason this trip had a special meaning and one that I just now know as I write these words. I'm here to feel the presence of what made me who I am, something that I have lost along the way.

I'm here to take in the sites and sounds of a time I've forgotten, taste the nourishment of such wonderful foods like Hungarian cabbage rolls, the staple of the Kender household as a child, and tell myself, that "Yes,  Life is truly good and am so thankful for my health and a chance to live yet another chapter of a beautiful life".

Despite the appearance of a crazed world crumbling before me, I have a rebirth in myself. That's what is important. This is who I am. This is why I am here. Hellllooooo Dayton!.

Peace.