On losing one's Superpowers...

I had the rare opportunity this past week to sit down and chat with one of my all-time heroes, Mr. Clark Kent, also known as Superman. (Well, at least it was a dream I had last night.)




Me: Mr. Kent, er...Superman, thank you so much for a chance of a lifetime to be able to talk with you. Sir, should I call you Superman or Clark or Mr. Kent?

Superman: Tommy, you can call me whatever you want, just be sure and call me for dinner! That's kind of a joke we tell here at the Home.

Me: Superman, I remember you as far back as 1952 and watching you on a little 6 " Emerson yellow screen TV. It was just magic seeing you fly. Do you remember those days?

Superman: Did you say TV, yep, I have one right here in my room. We have a bigger one downstairs where everybody gathers to play Bingo on Thursdays. Do you like to play Bingo?. I won last week. I  think.

Me: Sir, you been portrayed so many times on TV, in the movies, as a child in Smallville. You've had love interests, you've gone back in time...what was one of your favorite accomplishments.

Superman: What did you say your name was again. oh Tommy....well, one of the more recent things I accomplished that gave me a lot of pleasure was I had a really good BM this morning. You can ask the nurse. And I even made it to the bathroom on time.

Me: Superman, I mentioned love interests, do you ever see Lois Lane anymore. Were you intimate with her?

Superman: Well, I think we have a Lois somewhere down the hallway. I think she's kinda pretty. She don't play Bingo worth a dang tho.

Me: Sir, I'm curious, do you still have most of your superpowers?

Superman: Well my hearing is slightly off, and my memory is slippin' a little bit. I don't have to worry about zippin' up my britches though cuz I just wear this onesie. I still got all my teeth, that reminds me could you hand them to me, they're sittin on the table over there. Do you know if it's time for lunch yet?

Me: Well Superman, ...um...Superman....hello Superman, I think you dozed off a little bit there. As you're getting older do you look back and think of anything that you might have done differently.

Superman: Well, I wish I hadn't eaten the asparagus last night for dinner. You know it just seems to give me gas.

Me: Superman, I want to thank you for your time. You've made me realize that there comes a time when we have to face up to reality and accept life and appreciate the time we have had on this earth.

Superman: Yep, I like those reality shows. Boy, that Tyra Banks is a humdinger. She sure is tall. Sonny, have they called for dinner yet?