Choices...The bane of my existence

I think that sometimes people think that I don't care about things because usually my opinion about something is simply "that's fine". I'm certainly interested in the subject, I'm impressed with the results, I like the finished product...and it's "just fine".

I'm not lazy. It's not that I don't want the best results. It's just that...well, I'm easily satisfied.

These thoughts came about this morning when I went to turn on the heater, oops furnace, since there was a significant drop in the temperature last night. I'm normally not in charge of things like setting the temperature,  Pattye handles that, so after I simply flipped the switch from OFF to HEAT, it dawned on her that I needed to change the temperature setting as well. We had just turned the AC on the day before when it was in the 90's... Welcome to Texas... And then I started thinking....which by the way is dangerous, "Why do we have a different setting for the summer and the winter?"

Now, please, don't give me all of the scientific facts about humditity and drafts through the house and blah, blah, blah. The answer is simple. We have too many choices in life. Period.

You wanna know what is really over-rated. The thing that has way too many choices. The 3-way bulb. Oh, I have one. Actually we have several in the house. The one I have on right now where I am typing is a 3-way bulb. Actually, it's a 2-way bulb right now and before long it will turn into a one-way bulb. And, then,  yep, and then after it goes out I'll buy another 3-way bulb. All I do is turn the knob and keep turning it until the light comes on and then keep turning it until the light goes off.

You know, I rarely even salt and pepper my food unless it is simply by habit. And what about those people who salt their food when they haven't even tasted it. WTH?.

And colors. What's up with that? We've got 8 colors in the rainbow and that's plenty.

A few years ago when I was designing websites for profits, I had some lady say to me "Tom, could you make the blue a little bluer?" Are you kidding me?. That's why I design them for free now, so I can simply say, "Nope".

I'm thinking, see there I go again, thinking...but I'm thinking maybe it has something to do with my supposed ADD or whatever it's called. Maybe, I'm happy making a choice and moving on. Or heck, maybe I am lazy. I don't know....Hmmm.. let me think, is the thermostat supposed to be 70 in the summer or the winter. I guess that's not my choice and I'm fine with that.

Friendships can sometimes save a life...

Can anyone imagine ever saying, "My friend saved my life"? ...Well, if that sounds like a chance in a million of ever happening, what about "My high school classmate from over 50 years ago saved my life".  And, yes,  that was the case with Jack Berkemeier, Class President of the Fairview Class of '63  and what he had to say about Dr. David Joffe, also class of '63..

As some of you know, Jack has had his share, actually more than his share of some health issues over the years. You'd never know it though. He's always the first to offer help like he did when I desperately needed a projector for my 50th Reunion last year and he came to the rescue.. And Jack is always the lead dog when anything Fairview is taking place. He's the first one to get there and one of the last ones to leave.

Jack had moved temporarily back to the Dayton area a couple of years ago when he was asked to renovate an abandoned movie theater in the Miamisburg area, and that led to a renovation of a theater in Urbana and now a third theater in Eaton..

Jack has always been fast paced and even with the ole' ticker missing a few beats every now and then he keeps up with the youngest ones around.

I talked with Jack today when I had received notification of a '63 classmate of Jack's had passed away. Art Messer. I have a connection with that class partly because my brother Rick was in that class and I also host a website for the class.

I had also learned while talking with Jack that his doctor, David Joffe, had been battling some health issues as well. That information had come from Jack via Bill Wagner, '63.

After a little hesitation, Jack said, "Tommy, if it wasn't for Dr. David, I wouldn't be here today. I had called him when I was experiencing what I thought to be another heart issue and he demanded that I get to the hospital right away."

Jack just got out of the hospital on Friday, but he will be going back in on April 28th for what will probably be bypass surgery.

What a wonderful world we live in, when we can continue to have the friendships that we created 50 and 60 years ago.

Please let Jack know you are thinking of him. You can find him on Facebook or drop me a line and I'll send you his email address and or phone number.  And Jack said, Dr. David Joffe would like to hear from old friends as well and you can wish him well while he is on the mend at drcdave@yahoo.com

I'm proud to have gone to Fairview High School, a place where we made friendships and we know, that if our life ever is in danger, all we have to do is pick up the phone and that classmate will be there to help us or even save our life.. And, I'm proud to have known Jack going back 60 years to Our Lady of Mercy and then Fairview. He truly is one in a million.

Jack said he is so thankful to have had these opportunities to restore these wonderful theaters. and now it is only fitting, that a classmate from so many years ago can now help restore Jack's life.

Be well my friend

Defining moments.....

Defining moments....We've all had them. It's the accumulation of incidents, these moments in our lives that make us who we are today.

Most often it's the subtle things that change our lives. The actions we take when it is either time to step up to the challenge or sit back and do nothing.

Sometimes it's a life or death occurrence that after it happens, we right then and there decide which road we will choose in the future.

I have a friend who was wounded in Vietnam, who I am sure, as he lay recovering in a military hospital, he was sorting out his life's plan.

And sometimes, sadly, we never make the necessary changes until we're on Death's doorstep wondering why we didn't stop the stupid behavior earlier in our lives.

Each day there are more and more stories of drug overdoses happening. Parents, and that's using the term loosely since they are no type of parent I have ever known, "shooting up" in their car while kids sit in the back seat. Getting high at home and overdosing and leaving the survivors to a life of hell.

We've had a couple of incidents locally of stupid teenagers vandalizing schools and personal property and it has reminded me of a time when I had that "moment".

One of the first decisions I had to make on whether I would take the high road and "do the right thing" or follow the pack and take the stupid lane.

Some friends decided to pull a fire alarm and wait and watch the firetrucks show up. I decided to go home and pass on the idea. I'm not sure why, but I guess it was the upbringing and being shown what was right from wrong.

Trust me, I'm not a saint. Never have been. I spent a lifetime of screwing up by making poor choices in life. I've paid the price over and over but usually it was myself that I was hurting and the others around me were what we today now refer to as "collateral" damage.

God has been good to me. I'm still here. I don't make quite as many bad decisions as I used to. I've slowed it down and can now see life from a different perspective.

Do I wish I had done some things differently? Hell, yes. But I guess it's all part of the living process and thank goodness I ended up where I am today.

You can never make anyone change their life by telling them what to do. Preaching, yelling, incarceration doesn't matter to them. It has to come from within.

Why some of us are spared, even if it took years and years of doing the same stupid stuff over and over, I don't know the reason. I'm just thankful I have the chance to tell my stories and they might just make the slightest difference in a person's life.

I saw an old friend, but didn't recognize him...

I saw an old friend today. He is both an old friend and a friend who is old. The crazy thing is that I see him all of the time but I just haven't recognized him lately.

Anyone who knows me or has met me, knows him as well, but I doubt you would have recognized him either.

He's a lot grayer, but still has all of his hair. He still stands tall but has just the slightest slump when he gets tired. His gait is a little slower, but still fast paced. His wrinkles are now permanent as opposed to only when they appeared when he laughed.

As a matter of fact I recognized him and realized who he was when I heard his laugh. That's something that apparently has never changed.

He said he considers his health as excellent despite his decades of disregard for a healthy life style. His eyes are sharp, clear and as blue as ever.but admitted they were less than average until his cataract surgery.
His teeth are straight and white, but I think they might be store-bought.

He's still active, works regularly and enjoys people and things that he never had time for in years past.

Sadly, he said his memory is slipping though. He said it's frustrating that when he is having a conversation with someone that he will forget the simplest thing. But, he said he could remember every day growing up as a child.

The most difficult task he admitted to is not being able to recognize friends and people as easily as he used to.

And, just like I said I didn't recognize him...he said he didn't recognize me either.

We both agreed to see each other on a daily basis so we can improve our memories and we agreed to share the memories of our lives so those memories will never be lost.

Yep, you all know him. It's me

What makes a teacher great....

 (Editor's Note: This month, one of the finest teachers, one of the most talented instructors, David Kender,  will retire from Wright State University in Dayton, Ohio. His 25 years of service to the University, much like his 24 years of military service to his country, is not an end of a career, but simply a new phase in his life.  see more)

What makes a teacher great?

The answer is simple. The thing that makes a good teacher become a great teacher is the ability to cause one’s students to think. It's showing the student how to take all of the instructions, lectures, examples, tests and assignments and have the student come to the needed conclusion on his or her own. To think for themselves based on the knowledge they have gained.

The best teacher, the greatest teacher I ever had was one that I didn't have in a classroom, at least not the conventional classroom with four walls and a chalkboard. It was in the classroom of life.

 My brother, Dave, who will be retiring
from Wright State this month after a
 remarkable 25 year
career.

He's been teaching me my entire life not so much by lectures or instructions but by example. And I don't think either of us thought of it as a learning session. Our sessions were simply younger brother watching his older brother.

I guess my earliest tutoring that I can recall was when I would walk into his bedroom when I was probably not more than 5 or 6 years old and with our seven year age difference, he would be nearing high school age. His room was packed with electronic equipment from ham radios, oscilloscopes, and the newest item on the market, a CB radio. He also had one of his earliest inventions, a "shock machine", that he would entice me and my best friend to hold onto as he turned up the voltage to a set of tin orange juice cans that were wired to a transformer. Yes, that too, was a learning experience.

As I look back over the years, I realize that our one on one in-person meetings probably never totaled more than 50 visits together. He went off to the University of Chicago and then later Miami University in Oxford, leaving me at home until I would later head to the University of Oklahoma.

After graduation he entered the Air Force. I would do the same a few years later. We kept in touch on rare occasions by phone and of course we would meet up again as deaths occurred and we would see each other at gravesides.

During the 70's our paths crossed in the most unusual set of circumstances.

I was the editor of theLangley Flyer, the base newspaper at Langley AFB in Virginia and he was stationed at Pope AFB in North Carolina. As editor, I would receive base newspapers from all over the country and as I went through them I saw on the front page of the Pope AFB newspaper, that David Kender had won the Silver Star, the United States third-highest medal for valor during combat. Something he simply kept to himself.

As the Internet started to evolve, he and I would begin to exchange the newest invention, emails, a major breakthrough in being able to visit with each other from afar. 

Once during one of his thousands of classes, he was showing his students how to send text through the Internet. I had a little program that allowed me to "call" his computer, through an extremely slow modem, and the messages I would send him would appear on the screen being projected in the classroom. The students were entranced. He warned me beforehand not to send anything risqué.

His awards at Wright State would begin to stack up one upon another, again, without me knowing, until I would search his bio online and see all of the accolades.

Last year, while in Dayton for my 50th High School Reunion, I surprised him and sat in on one of his classes. I was impressed. Here was my brother, at age 75, sharp as ever, sharing his knowledge once again to students who would learn to think for themselves by simply being in his presence.

My life has been blessed having both of my brothers in my life. They have been my mentors, with Dave leading the way.

And Wright State has been blessed to have had such a great teacher to mentor the students.

I look forward to seeing where his next career takes him. I know for me, I will continue to learn, just as everyone who crosses his path will also benefit from his incredible knowledge and teaching skills.

Well done, brother Dave.