"Abducted by Aliens"

Few people know the story of me being abducted by aliens. For obvious reasons I rarely share the story but perhaps it's time to bring the facts to a broader public.
About ten years ago I suddenly awoke from what seemed like a deep sleep. The surroundings hadn't changed. As a matter of fact I will still sitting on the bed getting dressed as I always did. Alternating days from putting one sock on and then one shoe, from the routine of the previous morning of putting each sock on and then each shoe. I do little things like this just to keep some variety in my life.
But this particular morning, I remember looking at my watch and noticed it was exactly 5:40 AM. Ten minutes later I found myself in the same position, one sock in my hand, getting ready to put it over my foot!!
Ten minutes. Ten full minutes had dropped out of my life and I couldn't account for any of the time.
Now I know everyone thinks there is a simple explanation for this. From simply reading my watch incorrectly, to simply being a little groggy. And yes, I will admit this was back in the days of my alcohol consumption.
But this was real or rather surreal.
I truly believe I had some kind of out of body experience.
I don't remember anything that transpired during this time. I don't remember hovering over the room. I don't remember any little green men probing me and inserting rods into places that should never be explored other than by trained medical professionals. I don't remember anything that happened at all.
The only thing I do remember is that ten minutes had come and gone and I couldn't account for it.
The only plausible answer is that I was abducted by aliens.
And now, now it has happened again.
Three weeks have passed and I can't account for much of what has happened to me other than a few hazy images of getting up every morning, going to work. Installing a new hard drive and reinstalling tons of software into Pattye's computer. Replacing a monitor on my machine. Watching the Texas/OU game and becoming very depressed. Watching the Dallas/Philadelphia game and becoming very depressed. Writing four blogs that still remain in draft form. And a few other odds and ends.
It has to be the aliens. There is no other answer.
Where o' where does the time go?
It's like I can hear every tick of the the clock these days.
Three weeks have come and gone and I am still trying to put that sock over my foot again.
Have I forgotten to stop and smell the roses? Yes.
Have I forgotten to stop and spend time doing what I really take pleasure in doing , like writing a blog? Yes.
Have I forgotten to take time and enjoy the love and friendship of those around me? Yes.
Have I been abducted by aliens?, Well, maybe.
Life really, really is too short.
I still have my list of things I want to see and do before it is too late.
See a whale.
See a shuttle launch.
See the Grand Canyon.
I'm not getting any closer to any of these dreams than I was ten years ago.
Today starts a new T.K.
I'm refocusing.
I will savor each minute like it was my last.
I'll.......oops just remembered I said I would help them out at the store today.
O.K.
Tomorrow I'll refocus.
Tomorrow I will savor each minute.
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

"Confidence"

"There is nothing that saps one's confidence as the knowing how to do a thing."

I wish I had said this, well, actually I just did, but I mean I guess I wish I had said it first. But I have to give credit to my old hero Mark Twain.
There's a whole lot of things I know how to do, some good and some real good. Writing this blog falls into the latter category. I usually know what I want to say, and certainly know how to do it, but sometimes lacking the confidence to put it on "paperless" paper is another thing. I want it to be funny, inspirational, and most of all witty. "Paperless" paper is witty.
The person who promised to love, honor and buttress me (oh puulease....that means support, I could see those perverted images you had in your mind) is just about ready to pull out her hair because of my moping around the house with very little spunk these days. I don't know what causes spunk, or lack thereof, but spunk is important. Without spunk, you sit at a keyboard daydreaming, checking your e-mail every five seconds. Without spunk you tend to drag yourself slowly out of bed wishing the day was ending rather than beginning and worst of all.... you eat. Yep, I got spunkitis. Yep, I can tell. All I have to do is look at my belly and tell I have had spunkitis for the last couple of weeks.
I think spunkitis usually happens around this time of year and we used to call it Dog Days of Summer.
We've been brutalized with record hot temperatures. We've thirsted for rain as we have watched our reservoirs dry up leaving shorelines stretching halfway into the lakes. And now the humidity sets in as the tropical storms begin to gather on our coasts. So now we wait for September to finally allow us a chance to shut off that electricity-devouring monster, air conditioning and open the house up to a cool breeze but then we get...... spunkitis.
Oh yeah, there is one other factor causing this funk..... waiting on the new fall season of shows to start on TV.
One good thing has happened though during these doldrum days. I have become an aficionado of The History Channel. Over the last couple of weeks, I have learned about how chocolate is made, how the carvings on Easter Island were transported, how Thomas Edison invented the light bulb and much much more.
So I guess it hasn't been a complete loss.
And maybe it isn't a lack of confidence. It's just a little melancholy and soon the Autumn winds will sweep away this misery and put that little bounce in my step that I so dearly miss.
Oh yeah, and then there's football, and the State Fair of Texas and Texas-OU weekend, and raking up leaves and cleaning the garage and getting ready for a garage sale and cleaning off my desk and washing the cars and planting trees and, and , and.......Hmmmm, maybe the Dog Days weren't so bad after all??

"Last post sucked"

Pattye and I agreed that the last post SUCKED, so I took it down. Will try again later today!!

"A time to plant....A time to reap"

From the Book of Ecclesiastes, although probably better known from Pete Seeger's music and performed by the The Byrds .....I have been "planting" the last couple of days so I can "reap" next month and pay bills. Be back tomorrow.
........To everything - turn, turn, turn..... I hope this song doesn't stay in your head all day long!!

"I've finally met my match"

OK, I give up. I have finally met my match. I put up a good fight but I know when it is time to quit.
As I had mentioned in my last blog my cell phone cratered and had to be replaced.
Now I'm a gadget kind-of-guy. If a revolutionary electronic piece of equipment comes out, I am one of the first ones on my block to buy it. The last 4 or 5 computers Pattye and I have purchased over the last 10 years, I have built from scratch. I know about stuff.
But either things are changing a little too fast for me, or maybe I just don't want to fight the fight anymore.
I'm talkin' about using all of the features on my cell phone.
Heck, I don't even think it should be called a phone anymore. It should be called a communications appliance.
I realize it is hard to find a comfort zone, and, after going through a learning curve people like to settle in where life becomes enjoyable.
My old phone, may it rest in peace, and I were in a comfort zone. It worked great, well...fine.
Oh, it would drop a call every now and then. Occasionally I would have to play the "can you hear me now" game. But, it did what it was supposed to do. I called people and they called me.
But this new machine. ....Wow.
Trouble is, I don't know how to use it.
I got "tired-head" after only a few minutes of reading the 532 page instruction book.
It took me 15 minutes to find out how to turn the thing on!
It takes pictures, send pictures, does IM, (for those of you that aren't up-to-date is instant-messaging or what really is taking 10 minutes to type a message that you could have verbally told someone in five seconds). It has a ticker with a headline banner of breaking news across the screen, which by the way a screen that can have any kind of wallpaper that you want. It grooms the dog, it makes a souffle etc., etc., etc..
And I'm scared that it might be able to do the one thing, the only thing that Pattye still keeps me around for.......... it might be able to cut the grass.
But it really doesn't matter to me that it does all of these neat things. I just want it to make calls and get calls.
Yesterday, while I was checking to see if I had any calls, cause' I keep it stuffed in my jeans and normally have the radio blaring and can't hear it if it rings, (I can get over 10,000,000 different ring tones) I saw that I had missed 2 calls.
But I was stumped. How do I find out who called me?
As I was fiddlin with it, while sitting on the tail gate of my truck sweating in 100 degree weather, a non-English speaking housekeeper saw the confusion on my face.
She had a similar type phone and through hand gestures and my Spanglish we were able to find the correct menu to see who the last callers were that were trying to reach me.
She even showed me how to put the callers into my address book, that I'm not sure I could find again if I had to.
But it works. It does exactly what I want it to do. I can call people and they can call me.
Oh, by the way, I even have a unique ring tone. One that nobody else has. One that I could always discern if my phone rang while with a group of people.
I use the one that comes already with every new phone, and I am sure everyone but me has changed to something different.
So call me, but don't send pictures or IM's, because I wouldn't know how to find them.