What do you mean the churches are closed....it's Good Friday???

Editor's Note: For over 15 years I have shared my life thru my postings on this blog. Most of the posts have been humorous, many have been informative and sadly, a few of them have been poignant.
With today's musings, and probably for the coming weeks, my messages will reflect on the dramatic changes that have occurred in my life in the recent weeks with the passing of my wife of 33 years. Rest assured the blogs will continue to be humorous and informative and again sometimes poignant but will now originate from much deeper in my soul, more cerebral in my thoughts yet always from my heart. I hope you continue to enjoy witnessing my life as much as I have enjoyed sharing it with all of you.



So here it is right around 3:00 PM on Good Friday....It's been an okay day with all things being considered. The morning had started off by joining a new group of friends at the Richardson 'Y' for a class of Silver Sneaker Exercises. Joining this group had been my first step in trying to begin socialization and regain some sense of being after suddenly losing my wife, Pattye, only weeks before.

The rest of the day I had scheduled to begin assembling a montage of photographs of Pattye that would be shown during a celebration of her Life on Saturday. Several times I had sat down at her computer to begin the slow process of cutting and pasting each image that would attempt to show her life to a group of family and friends that would gather at one of our favorite restaurants. Yet each time I sat down and opened her well organized history of pictures of vacations and holiday events, the tears would begin to flow and I would have to get up and leave the room.

I thought I had finally got past the deep, deep emotional loss, the gut-wrenching grieving, but here it was again.The memories of vacations and holidays tore open my heart. I felt I had to just leave the house.

For the past month, I have taken Cooper with me almost every time I left but I figured I was just going to go down to the local Dollar Tree and pick up some Easter cards for the grandkids who would be at the celebration the next day. But what happened next, will go down as one of the most profound days in my 70 years on this earth.

Instead of going to Dollar Tree, I found myself at The Heights Church, a well known and well attended Baptist Church not far from the house. I'm sitting in the parking lot with the engine running and tears rolling down my cheeks. This had been by far the worst day I had experienced, just when I thought I was getting past the hardest time in my life.


I thought to myself, "No, no...not a Baptist Church, Tom". Sure I was stereotyping the image of so many misinformed years of my thinking of them as a hard core group of Bible-thumping conservatives. Yet, here I was, ready to find solace on Good Friday at 3:00 PM, find solace for me a sinner as I needed peace from my pain.

My next thought was, "Okay, I'll Google a Catholic Church near me". The catholic church is where I began my penance for committing the sins of my youth. Although, I had left it many years ago, I always felt that I knew the traditions well enough and that with enough sincere prayer, I would be forgiven all of my trespasses. But then I thought, "Nah, I've been down that road before".

Okay then, how about the Episcopal Church. That was my church where I began the second trek in trying to follow the Correct Path to Salvation. Sure enough I was only a few miles away and headed for Peace, again right when the anniversary of one of the Greatest Sacrifices known to man was occurring. I drove right past the Richardson "Y" where I had started my day and pulled up to the Episcopal Church. Not one car in the parking lot, not one. " I scream out loud, "It's Good Friday, what do you mean you'e closed!!!..This is insane."

Okay, just few hundred feet away is my next choice. A Methodist Church where my daughter, Kelly, had once worked in the Nursery. Perfect. I have a lot of friends who are Methodists, this should work.. Although by now, the tears have stopped, I still needed the soothing effects of a religious sanctuary. I pull into the parking lot and IT'S EMPTY!. No one. I cry out again, "IT'S GOOD FRIDAY. IT'S 3:00 PM AND YOU'RE CLOSED"


Have I lost touch with what is happening in the secular world?. Why in the world would churches be closed on Good Friday and at 3:00 PM which theologians have estimated to be the time of Christ's death. And churches wonder why their attendance is down.

OK, I'm going back to see the Baptists. My only thoughts of Baptists at the moment is that scene from the George Clooney movie, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou" where the religious sect is having a mass baptism in the river. "Fine", I shout to myself once again, "I'll do whatever you want God, just give me some peace".

So back to The Heights Church I go. I sit quietly with a small group of people in an alcove wondering why there are the few people I see yet I saw hundreds of cars in the parking lot. I later would find out this was simply overflow from a packed Chapel, on Good Friday, at 3:00 PM.

I cry and cry and cry. Finally the tears stop and a stranger sits beside me to hear my story. I share it even including that "I don't know much about Baptists, but at least your doors were open"

I'm not sure where I will end up in my new life. I do know that I found some new friends when I was at my most vulnerable exposure. I know I am Blessed. I know I am here to tell my story and help others. I smile as I share my adventure today and I look so forward to sharing more.

I do know that my doors will always be open to anyone who needs my help.