Harlan's Helpful Tips for Christmas

Mr. Tom has dunned ast me to kinda sit in for him cuz he's a gettin' behind in all of his work stuff. 

I told him I'd write sumthin down for him that he could put on this here  blogger thingy......So, Ma, Pa and my sister Harlanetta, pictured over here, and I sat down last night and we came up with 3 things you do and don't want to have a goin on during these special holiday times. So here goes.

1. Make sure ya git all your rooms cleaned out of stuff and dirty plates and any varmit droppings that ya might have. Often times relatives and people ya don't really know too good will drop in and say "Howdy" or "Merry Christmas" during the holidays and they git ta snoopin and lookin under your beds and take a peek in your undies drawer and whatnot. Also, be sure and throw away any of them toilet paper rolls you been a savin' since last Christmas and are a stackin up in the waste basket.

2. Don't give no pets out during Christmas specially doggies or kitty cats....cept  possums cuz they just lay there and don't do nuthin, , you can give those out...People get all too concerned about themselves and them little doggies git all lost in the confusion and sometimes git throwed out with the wrappings and bows and stuff....If ya wanna give a doggie pet for a gift....ya might wanna check with Pet Homeless Shelters.....them rescued dogs make fine companions and they shore will be indebted to you for sparing their lives...Momma always says you can judge a man by the way he treats animals....Momma is real bright like that....Matter of fact...Cooper was one of them dogie rescues.

3. And thirdly ...don' be a stickin your finger down in the light socket if fer some reason your whole string of lights have gone out. That can smart like the devil and you'll end up with a big ole blister on yer finger that will keep you from doin' any whittlin during the holidays.....Go and git you a neighbor kid and have him put his finger in there....better yet....have him put his tongue in there cuz it will give a better connection.

Thats's all I got fer now...but I'll be back.....this here's Harlan P. Wilcox sittin in for ole Tom.