That seedy, ugly, sordid word that sadly haunts every home..

For some reason we find comfort in knowing that we are not alone when we are plagued with sadness and we find that others suffer the same misfortune.  But, instead of wanting to correct our problem and situation, we find comfort and justification when we tell ourselves, "Well, my problem isn't as bad as theirs", or we bury the problem so deep that in our minds it no longer exists.

True, I can only speak for myself, but it seems that every time I use the "word" and I will give it to you in the next paragraph, and offer my story, I find listeners willingly begin to open up and tell their secret as well. They want to cleanse their soul and tell their side of the story.

The word is simply called "Estrangement".

Family estrangement (or, simply, estrangement) is the loss of a previously existing relationship between family members, through physical and/or emotional distancing, often to the extent that there is little or no communication between the individuals involved for a prolonged period.

It never fails, that when I disclose to people what haunts me, which I don't intend to disclose at this time by the way, they begin to share.

We all hurt. It crosses all faiths, all religions, all families. Rich, poor, spiritual, educated, ignorant. White, black, brown. European, Asian or South American. Someone who was important in our lives at one time is now lost.

Brother to brother. Sister to sister. Brother to sister. Sister to brother. Father to daughter. Son to mother. It's there. Most often hidden, but if you turn over enough stones you will find that dirty little secret that families are estranged.

Several years ago a close friend was estranged from his children. The reason is not important. But what was important is the fact there was no contact.

After he was diagnosed with cancer and with little time left, his spouse made an effort to contact his children and try and reconcile as her husband lay on his deathbed. Yes, they showed up. Yes, they forgave each other. And yes, he died with somewhat of a less than broken-heart. But it maybe didn't have to be that way.

Recently, I found myself in a city I had never been in before while changing planes to get to my ultimate destination. It happened to be in a city where someone dear to me and where someone I have thought of everyday of my life lived, yet I couldn't call her because we were estranged.

As my world, as many of you know, has been rearranged recently so to speak, and I find myself, in my estimation a better person, a stronger Christian, I want to give more than receive. I want to love more than being loved. I want to bring peace and understanding instead of sorrow and despair.

I don't believe in coincidences anymore. I believe in purpose. I create the purpose because my eyes have been opened. For many years I have asked, "Why in the heck do You still have me hangin' around here?" And I've shared with all of you in the past months the answer that was always in front of me, "To help and heal others". But in order to heal others, I first have to heal myself.

I shared the story with my pastor this past Sunday about finding myself in a city and have the feeling that maybe one last effort was in order. In fact, I have actually never made that effort at all if all truth be known. I simply relegated it to Pattye and hoped maybe her efforts would have success. Nope, it's my turn now and it's my responsibility as it always was but I was too much of a coward to accept it. My pastor offered any kind of assistance, perhaps as a sounding board to try to not only find out why the ugly, horrid "estrangement" occurred but how to finally dissolve it into hell where it belongs.

Reconciliation

I doubt I will share my outcome with you. My purpose was to simply tell you my plan and perhaps give you hope that your pain as well just might have a chance to be removed and the word family can replace the word estrangement in your life. As always, I appreciate your prayers and guidance. But this time I want to offer you prayers and hope and that maybe you too can find the reconciliation you desperately wish for. Let's all try and make that one last effort. Peace