Should I or should I not...part 2

When I last left you with the St. Joseph saga a few weeks ago and the decision on whether or not to buy such statue and then bury it, per the instructions, in order to help sell my house, I was going to ask learned theologians for advice.

The original story can be found here http://ireadthenews.blogspot.com/2019/09/should-i-or-should-i-not.html  and my dilemma was that I didn't want to commit any kind of idolatry seeing that for the most part my spiritual life has been changing for the better. And I certainly didn't want to risk eternal flames for something as foolish as burying a sacred statue for monetary gain.

After I had received the clergy's blessing (no pun intended) I sought out finding the revered St. Joseph Home Selling Kit.

My first stop was to an ACE Hardware store in the neighborhood where I had found online that they provided such kits. As I entered the store, there was an attractive woman in probably her late 30s serving as a "greeter" and wearing an ACE Hardware shirt.

When she asked me if she could help me, I sheepishly whispered to her in a barely audible voice since I was still feeling like perhaps I was on questionable ground. I softly whispered, "I need to make a personal purchase?"

Her eyes widened as big as saucers and I think perhaps maybe she was thinking I was looking  for an intimate, personal device or something like that and I didn't want the public to hear. When I said, "I'm looking for a St. Joseph statue to help in selling my house". Her surprise immediately changed to a smile and she whispered back, which kind of made me giggle under my breath for her honoring my discreetness, "Oh yes, we sell those statues."

She softly said, "let me check with my manager" as she again whispered into her headset trying to find out where they were located. After receiving her answer from her manager, she nodded to me and said they were available online and could be delivered to the store. I thanked her profusely and in a fast retreat out the door with my underarms deeply pitted out, I almost ran to my car.

Well, several days went by and then I received a posting on my Facebook page from my cousin, Janice, who initiated this whole thing asking me if I had made my purchase yet. I offered up some kind of crap excuse only because again, after a childhood of learning about religion sometimes through fear and fire and brimstone, and heck I still don't even know what brimstone is, I just didn't want to cross over that line between Light and Dark.

I did a little more investigative work and sought out a Catholic Bookstore in the neighborhood and ventured in with a little more confidence hoping to make my purchase.

And just as I was going in the store I realized I didn't have my wallet. This was the first time in I guess maybe 60 years that I have ever gone anywhere without my wallet. I was stunned...and then panicked....Was this a divine sign that maybe I shouldn't be headed in this direction?

I paused and thought, "Well, maybe it's a positive test" halfway convincing myself that all was well. And since I was already at the store I thought I might as well go on in and at least see if they had them,

And oh, they did. The kind lady opened a drawer and I bet there were no less than 25 of the St. Joseph Home Selling Kits staring me in the face. Okay, this has to be all positive, a catholic store selling the statues, and getting the go ahead from the clergy. I'm gonna do it.

I raced home just under the speed limit telling myself if I get a ticket or have a wreck or God forbid, my wallet isn't at home and I lost it, well then I'll give up this idolatry scheme.

Wallet was at home. I drove back to the store, chatted with the lady for a little bit, got my package which included instructions and now I prepare to send St. Joseph to the subterranean.

I'm at peace. I think I am doing the right thing and I will certainly keep all of you  posted of what happens next.

I sincerely love the journey that I am on and how I am learning something new everyday. Yes, it's a lonely journey, but I have all of you by my side, and of course I have my trusty companion Cooper and of course The Big Guy upstairs who looks down on me with Pattye at his side and just shakes his head back and forth saying, "Tommy, Tommy, Tommy.

Peace....and stay tuned for part three.

My dream kinda ended up a nighmare!!

I've given a lot of thought to where and how I want to enjoy the coming years. I had mentioned previously,  about selling the house and buying a RV and Cooper and I traveling around the country. Then at the suggestion of a high school friend, Carol Kehl Smith, she said I could just visit all of my friends and classmates around the country. That's when the following scenario came into my head-brain last night and then I awoke suddenly, in a cold sweat yet smiling!



WIFE: Honey, that guy you used to know in high school called on the landline while you were at Home Depot.  His name was Kendrick, or Kenson or something like that.

HUSBAND: Oh my gosh, was it Kender, Tom Kender, what did he say? Did he leave his number?

WIFE: He said he would call back later. Isn't he that dumbass that you told me got kicked out of high school for mooning and then ran away from home and went to Kentucky for the day or something like that?

HUSBAND: Honey that was over 50 years ago, it was just a high school thing. He's probably matured by now.

WIFE: Well, he said it's just him and his dog named Cooper now and he's traveling around the country visiting old friends in a RV. I don't want him parking some piece of crap RV in front of our house and mooching off of us. Remember that movie, "Christmas Vacation" with Chevy Chase and his cousin Eddie pumping out his RV into the sewer. I'm not putting up with that and besides our HOA doesn't allow for overnight parking on the street.

HUSBAND: Sweetheart, he's a good guy and I'm sure it's a nice RV. He's just kind of a rambling guy but has a heart of gold. I'm sure you'll like him. He's one of the funniest guys I know and he even does magic tricks. He claims he's a writer also.

WIFE: I don't care if he's funny. And what do you know about his grooming habits? He might go for days driving around a RV and mooch off of friends and take a shower and clog up their toilets from not going for days. And what about that dog. We've got our cats here and they sure don't want to be around some old smelly dog. He'll probably want to do his laundry as well. This house will stink to high heaven if he comes here. I really wish you would tell him we are too busy or are out of town.

HUSBAND: Honey, this guy is my friend. We used to get drunk together and drink Lawrence Screwdriver out of the bottle and made promises to each other that we would have each other's backs and we would never date each others girl friend once they broke up only unless they were hot and kinda like to mess around a lot.

WIFE: Didn't you tell me he was a freight elevator operator at Rike's Department Store after he graduated from high school.

HUSBAND: Honeybun, that was a different friend. His name was Eddie and he went on to become a successful lawyer. Tom, or as we sometimes called him, Skeeter, he went off to Oklahoma and did all kinds of different things. He later moved to Dallas and worked for a movie star and sold liquor and eventually had a Swimming Pool business for 30 years. He is a generous person also.



WIFE: Yeah, it was probably a porn star or something.Well, I don't want him messin' around with me. And who knows, he could be a pervert. You know when these guys lose a spouse they get all horny and start walkin' around with their zipper down and everything just a hangin' out and then they blame it on bein' old. And who knows he might end up stayin' and then claim he slipped on something and will want us to take care of him. And that dang dog probably sheds also.

HUSBAND: Darlin' I promise he won't be a problem and maybe your sister Helen might want to come over and meet him. He really is a good guy, kinda odd, but a great guy.

WIFE: Just what I don't want. One of your old drunk high school friends who is just hangin' out, ramblin' around, stayin' up late and being funny and then end up bein' family. I just don't like it.I bet he doesn't even have all of his own teeth and he'll leave them just sitting around someplace also.

HUSBAND: Honey, I hear you. As a matter of fact I hear you so well that I think I might ask him if I can go with him. Bye!

Should I or should I not???

With my new-found religion, I sure don't want to jeopardize the grounds I've gained by doing something stupid and falling away to the Dark Side. Dang. It's kinda like me hangin' around in a bar and people worrying that I might take a drink after over 20 years of sobriety. I do hang around a bar/restaurant across the street which is where I walk Cooper every evening and I stop to talk to my friends there. The bar is doggy friendly and Cooper likes being fed french fries as well but I don't even consider havin' a drink other than water.. So that sure ain't gonna happen just like I'm not going to worship false idols either.

But wow, did I come across something crazy-like today that I am having a hard time wrapping my head-brain around it.

As many of you know my home is on the market and has been for a couple of months now and even though I have had  a contract that fell through at the last minute, I continue to have showings and feel very positive about getting it sold. And although I haven't finalized any plans on where I will go if in fact I leave here, the idea of living permanently on a sailboat is still very intriguing and even the idea of travelling the country in a RV certainly has its merits. Regardless, I can't do anything until the house sells other than visit with friends.

But today, my cuz, Janice, who lives in Beavercreek, Ohio and whom I have a deep fondness for and have always enjoyed her company as a child and now thoroughly enjoy her friendship and companionship as an adult put me on to something that might just get this whole  process moving.

Okay, I want everyone to raise their hand who have ever heard of burying a statue of St. Joseph in the front yard of the house you are trying to sell and you HAVE TO BURY IT UPSIDE DOWN!!! in order to make it work. Now, some of you may have heard it has to be St. Francis or St. Anthony but those guys still count just the same. In fact if you search long enough on the Internet you can find a half dozen saints that it will supposedly work with.

I've read varying accounts from priests who have been asked to bless the statue before it's buried, which they reluctantly do with the caveat that you dig the statue up afterwards and clean it up and put it in your new home.

I contacted my realtor, who will go unnamed right now to protect her anonymity, but she said she even carried them in her car trunk years ago. And my older brother Dave admitted to me when I told him about this story that his home had been on the market for a year and someone told him the story and he buried a statue and it sold 3 days later.

 Right now you can purchase at Ace Hardware a St. Joseph Home Selling Starter Kit for only $4.99.

Well, I'm going to run this by my pastor tomorrow morning and run it by some of my more learned-than- me, theological thinkers and get their take. And if I get a somewhat positive feedback, I'm headed to the hardware store!.

Like I said, I sure don't want to end up on the "Dark Side" but dang, it would be great to sell the house.

Peace

And a Happy Birthday in Heaven to my wonderful wife today, Sept. 14th. I know you're smiling knowing I'm writing again.

"One step at a time"....

From the moment we enter the world out of the womb our accomplishments are constantly monitored. Our first cry in the delivery room is a sign we are alive and living. Our first words that we utter bring ecstasy to our parents as they interpret  that "Dada" or "Momma" and confirms to them that we are learning. Our first step as we struggle to keep our balance is a prelude to what might be the beginning of a long distance marathon runner or track star. Every moment of every day of our life is an accomplishment.

But sometimes our learning, our accomplishments our lives as we know them, suddenly takes an unexpected turn. We simply go into survival mode trying to make it through the moment, the hour and then the day.

It could be someone trying to recover from addiction, a survivor from a broken marriage or a grieving spouse who has been left to begin life anew, yet alone. All of these paths have the same common thread. The steps have to simply be taken "one step at a time".

No one wants to linger in their pain, wallow in their misery or be alone in their thoughts with no one to share them with, yet the recovery has to begin with that first step and then the next and the next.

Our accomplishments are marked by the simplest of tokens. It might be a simple wooden chip celebrating a day or a week or a month of sobriety. It could be venturing outside the home to meet new people, or sometimes it can simply be doing simple tasks that to everyone else in the world who have "never been there" as simply mundane.

For me, I felt I made a major stride today. I cooked.

To most, I know it sounds silly if not ridiculous. To a few, I know you will understand.

Behold....The meal. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and asparagus tips. Not pretentious. But delicious. 

It's a major step......no longer the frozen dinners, the fast-food drive thrus or even a night of fine dining, but simply a meal that I chose to take the time and the effort to make for myself.
And yet, probably another step I have taken is simply allowing this to be read by others, because as I'm now learning, I am here to teach, to share and to help those who will follow in my path.

I'm proud of myself...for now I know there is hope.