On turning 70

Editor's note: As my 70th birthday quickly approaches, I was surprised the other day when I got a call from the  AARF acknowledging this milestone in my life. If you're not familiar with this organization, it was recently formed to accommodate those seniors who are a little more outspoken than the members of the more traditional AARP. The AARF, American Association of Retired Farts, was inquiring if I would like to do an interview for their upcoming online edition on what it's like to turn 70. I told them I'd be happy to help and they said I could begin anytime and to just email the story when I was finished. Somewhat confused, I asked, "Who is doing the interviewing?" They replied, "You are". When I asked, "Who am I interviewing?" They replied, "Yourself". They said they are on a limited budget and they had been told that I used to interview people for a living.  I said that was true, so they thought who better to interview me, than me....so anyway, here goes.

You've come a long way, Skeeter

AARF: Mr. Kender, I want to thank you for taking the time to share your feelings and emotions about what it's like to turn 70.

Me: Well thanks for taking your time to be here. What would you like to know?

AARF: From what I have learned, you seem to be fighting this journey into the septuagenarian period of your life, what's up with that?

Me: The problem isn't so much turning 70 as it is wondering where in the heck have I been all these years. I mean, come on, I know it sounds like a cliche' but it seems like just yesterday I was in grade school doing all kinds of crazy stuff with my friends Eddie Stout and The Jer like goin' down to the Stillwater River to catch crawdads.

AARF: Of course we all have those memories, but that's part of life and growing. It's those memories and events in your life that make you who you are. Do you feel like you've made some accomplishments along the way?

Me: I've had some successes and of course some disappointments. I've had a chance to get a good education, work in various careers, heck, even work for a celebrity for a period of time. I also had the opportunity to serve my country in the U.S. Air Force.

AARF: When you say "opportunity" to serve in the military, didn't most of the people your age have to serve during the Vietnam War?

Me: Yes, there was a mandatory draft and some of us enlisted. Regardless of how we got there,  I made the most of the situation and learned as much as I could.

AARF: Back to this turning 70 thing, and by the way, you seem to get off subject a little, is that typical of you?

Me: First of all, you forget I am playing two roles here...so cut me a little slack. And yes, I do have a problem staying on point. We didn't have labels like ADD back in the day, it was more like "Tommy doesn't exercise self control" "doesn't stay on task"...Hey, I'm creative...my mind is always working....uh, what was the question?

AARF: I was just trying to get you back to the 70's thing, that's why I am here. Do you find yourself getting a little testy now that you are getting older?

Me: Dang right I do. I don't have the patience with people like I used to. I don't know if they are getting more dumb or I am getting smarter. Either way, I just get tired of seeing and hearing the hate and anger that's happening. It's caused me to get more angry. Neat thing, now I can get away with it. People will just say, "Oh he's just some old fart"...hence, the creation of the AARF. I do have to give full disclosure here. I started the organization, myself.

AARF: What do you think has changed most about you as you get ready to take that first step into your next decade of life?

Me: I find that I have to be more cautious of my surroundings. I have three little tests or checks before I leave the house. 1. Teeth in. 2. Zipper up. 3. Shoes tied. If I can get two out of three, then it's safe to leave.

AARF: What about health? A lot of people your age seem to be experiencing a decline in their health.

Me: Twenty years ago when I turned 50, see right there...that's what just really upsets me TWENTY YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS 50.....ugh, I hate this, anyway...I said to my very close friend at that time Bill Boren, "Any day I live past 50, I feel I am on borrowed time". I was living pretty hard. Drinking, smoking, eating poorly and over the past few years have quit a lot of those bad habits.  I must say, I feel better now than I have in a long time. Sadly, Bill didn't make it much further.

AARF: What about regrets, any that you can think of over the last 70 years?

Me: I have a whole list, but I have learned to move on. I do like the quote from Benjamin Franklin though, " Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing."... One thing I do wish I had learned years ago and have a small regret. It was learning to dive off of the high dive at Phillip's Aquatic Club, I always had to jump.. Other than that, I'm fine

AARF: Any thoughts or goals for the next 10 years?

Me: I have a lot of writing to do. I want to get a lot of my stories down on paper. I'm real deep into electronic automation and geek stuff like that and I want to feel like I made a difference in people's lives.

AARF: Mr. Kender, I want to thank you for sharing some thoughts. I was hoping it might be somewhat funnier based on your earlier work. But, nonetheless, it was informative, boring, but informative.

Me: Well, I said I am dragging my heels and fighting this whole 70th bithday, so I'm not at my best. But I did want to do something to ease the pain as my journey as an old fart continues.